Game Review: 'Operation: Winback'

Now, a personal ‘rule of thumb’ for me is that when looking at a game box, if the blurb on the back brags about the number of levels, the ability to have more than one player or other general shite like that – steer clear. The action/adventure/crap MGS clone Operation: Winback for the PlayStation 2 managed to piss me off four times in the space of one blurb. We have “31 explosive levels” (Once) but also a “20 stage challenge mode” (Twice). We can also have “4-Player death matches” (Thrice) and have “1 and 2- Player bot matches” (Fourice?). Why bother to tell us what we’ll inevitably find out when we put the game in the console? Why not try to entice us with the plot, tell us the unique selling point or something useful??

Upon booting the game up, the first call-to-port would be the Training. Here, we are introduced to Jean-Luc Cougar, the protagonist, Steve, his boss, and the game itself. How I wish I had never been introduced to Steve....

Run forward. “That’s good, Jean-Luc. You’re doing well.”
Breathe. “That’s good, Jean-Luc. You’re doing well.”
Do nothing. “That’s good, Jean-Luc. You’re doing well.”
...“That’s good, Jean-Luc. You’re doing well.”

Every fucking action is met with him saying the same “That’s good, Jean-Luc. You’re doing well” in his generic American drawl. How is rolling forward “doing well”, Steve? How?! After the one room, I feel like the game thinks I’m an idiot and I hate Steve. I quit.

Onto the main game!

The story we are treated to is about as deep as a puddle, but for all those narrative-bummers out there, Jean Luc Picard has to infiltrate some base because a naughty terrorist group has taken control of some satellite and likes to fire it. It conveniently has a recharge time of several hours, giving Picard time to arse around like a blithering idiot. And he likes to do so! The controls are as unforgiving as a rape victim and the fire-fights are just as smooth as said illegal act. Aiming requires you to have 20/20 vision in order to see a tiny red dot that merely suggests where your bullet may end up, and for the record, Spock is a shit shot. The terrorists however, are not, and Scotty likes to eat lead and then the tarmac. Then he flashes. Never did get that in games...why flash? We know we’ve just done something stupid as our life has depleted and we’re biting the curb, but to flash? And not even in the good way? Nice realism, Picard! Get back to your Enterprise...

Forcing myself to play through the game, I was introduced to all the clichés of the action/adventure genre – box pushing, puzzles, mazes, and the boss fights that require you to do nothing more than shoot and run. Fun. We do, however, have the chance for three endings! All based on how fast you complete the game!

Arsed.

I’m not putting myself through this abomination three times. Screw you Winback. Screw you.

Sound wise – I’ve left the game running in the background as I type this, and the same 30 second synth loop makes me envy the deaf. As does Mr Zulu’s whiney American voice acting. The weapons don’t exactly sound weapon-y, to use the correct term and killing the terrorists results in either Dying Man #1 or Dying Man #2 to be played.

Overall, I wish I’d never played this game. I want my life back.

(Sorry about the Star Trek thing – I don’t even like the show; his name just lent so well. And George Takei is quite fun.)

Phil.

n.b. Phil played Operation: Winback on the PlayStation 2. It is also available for the Nintendo 64 and Xbox (original).