Why I Love America... Part One

After my initial three weeks and crossing four states, I've noticed something... I don't hate this place.

I know, coming from the blogger who consistently rants about 'Why I Hate...', it seems eerily strange to read something positive. Too strange for me, so it's not very positive at all.

On May 6th 2010 I arrived in New York city. This was election day, my postal vote was already in and I was eagerly awaiting one of the most uncertain election results of the contemporary political wars. Being in NYC I was unable to view any sort of election coverage from the BBC's 'swing-o-meter' to what I can only assume to be the excellently satirical alternative election coverage on channel 4 featuring David Mitchell and co. Therefore, the only word I had from the elections was a weak wi-fi signal on my ipod for snap-shots of the Guardian, and American television. Oh what a field day I would have gotten out of this a month previously, yet, now I am but a changed man.

There are four main ways Americans get their news. And i'll discuss each:

Fox News: The ridiculously awesome right wing spectacular.

My previous experience of Fox news was a filter of satirical comments made by the left, making Fox and its big hitter 'Bill O'Reilly'. My mind was made up 'Fox news is the decil' How could it not be? It's owned by multi-media pimp Rupert Murdoch. They are the most biased news channel since 'Kim Jong-Il Channel 5 be happy or get shot fun time work hard action news with Ron Bur-Gun-Di' (Source: Reuters). Their coverage is hardly news, more akin to a radical church telling you who to believe, rather than what actually happened. To the uneducated eye (any Brit), this is who middle america and the blue states watch consistently, awaiting details of their latest pro-life festival details. Something that I didn't expect was irony. Americans love it. The 'O'Reilly Factor', one of the highest grossing opinion news programmes on American television is watched by both sides of the political spectrum- ironically.

Don't believe me? I wouldn't have believed myself. I've spoke to people from four different cities in America. The left, Los Angeles and New York City and the right, Washington DC and Orlando. In DC, I met up with three guys who are republicans and describe themselves as 'right wing'. We are friends because of the love of Liverpool Football Club and the television show 'Lost'. Prior to my visit to DC I had not discussed politics with them. My first glance into their political views was waiting for the 3rd to last (tri-ultimate? fuck knows!) episode of 'LOST' to begin. While this was happening, the television remote flipped us onto 'The O'Reilly Factor', to which one of the right wingers announces

'Do You guys fancy watching some radical American television... this guy makes me laugh so much'

Not the answer I expected from right wingers, who I assumed would take the highly conservative and narrow minded view of 'O'Reilly'. Nope, most of the right in America are following an ethical code that the majority of society would struggle to disagree with. If you work hard, you should be rewarded. Not focused on our conservative experience of class. Class does not exist in the United States. You are either rich or poor. This does not reflect your place in society, it just reflects the amount of home comforts or lack thereof that you will attain. There is no snobbery, no thinking one man is better than the other because of a birth right. Not to look at this with tinted glasses, obviously inequality exists. There is a dirty underbelly of racism in this country that the BNP would be proud of. For example, at Universal Studios Hollywood, I experienced a comedy illusionist who made racist jokes that would offend Enoch Powell. Fair enough, we've experienced our fair share of Bernard Manning and friends, but imagine this:

Bernard Manning making this joke on a busy high street in the middle of Burnley or Birmingham:

'What do you call a paki on the moon?'

'Problem'

'What do you call all the pakis on the moon?'

'Problem Solved'

Offensive. Of course. I apologise for this horribly cheap joke, but imagine the reaction it would gain. Manning would be hung (literally if some lefties had the opportunity.) And rightly so in my view.

Despite this, imagine my predicament. A performer in one of the most popular attractions in the world 'Universal Studios' which attracts thousands upon thousands every single day of the year. A man is employed as part of a 'street performers' festival and given a microphone that is broadcasting to thousands of people, of which, at least 60 percent are mexican or of hispanic heritage. A joke is made after a pancake is burnt which goes:

'That's dark, but it's not unemployable'

However it is not the only joke that is made to an audience that is made up of migrant workers and visitors to the country, they were often directly attacked by a man who was employed to perform in the middle of one of the most popular attractions by 'Universal' one of the biggest corporations in the world. This was not the country's finest hour.

CNN: Real news, but not very popular.

CNN has an international reputation for the quality of its reporting. Despite this, it has waining audience figures parallel to the popularity of FOX and magazine news shows such as 'E!' and 'Tosh.o'. This is something that a lefty would love to
tear apart, the fascination with celebrity and the radical is notably associated with capitalism. Despite this, it's quite enjoyable. The reason for this is that the Americans know how to do it, we don't. Think about our wish-washed tabloid display of voyeurity. It's centred around a fascination with anyone who even resembles a celebrity. America is different, watching the magazine shows is something that directly reflects the subjects career. The interest in a celebrity is always positive, i.e. Sir Paul McCartney arriving at LAX with no questions about his private life, just asking about his music. This is refreshing, it seems like the mother of celebrity has evolved, to the point where fascination and adoration are completely different. This is not to suggest that there is no obsession with celebrity status: everywhere you go there is some sort of division between the high rollers and the plebs. From the first class seats on budget airlines, to the VIP club areas to the high rollers sections in Vegas. There is always a division between people, but not because of where they were born or who they know, but because of the size of their wallet. Again it seems you can get anything you like as long as you've put in the time to save up for it. This is in essence 'The American Dream', the acquirement of the perfect life through all its Willy Loman-ness. This is what CNN lacks, it lives in the real it lives in the true, there are no dreams on CNN, it is watched by the accomplished and that is sadly the minority in this beautiful nation.

Local News: Commercial smiles

Sitting in Florida, watching the television when there is an urgent news flash, mid-broadcast.

'Woah what is this? was my initial thought, as the television embarked on a severe storm and tornado warning.

'I guess this was worth breaking up my show, after all adverts do it all the...'

I was interrupted mid-sentence by an advert itself. 'Toyota of Orlando sponsors this severe warning'. WHAT THE FUCK? Even the emergency alerts are sponsored by a car company, you know, because when theres a thunderstorm you'll want to go out and buy a toyota. Idiots.

Local news is a bizarre spectacle, far from our regional news in the UK, its filled with glamour and spectacle. If you've seen 'Anchorman', you're half there. In all its cheese the local news is extremely entertaining and thorough. You wouldn't see Granada Reports hosting local searches for best stand up comic, but you do with local LA news. It's ridiculously spectacular, for all it's overtly commercialised faux pas, it's still far more exciting than Gordan Burns (grey haired fella from NW tonight).

Mock News: John Stewart is God

Now the Daily Show is not a foreign experience to most Brits, in fact it airs daily on More4. Yet, I have not considered whether it reflects the yanks' views. As previously discussed, they do experience a bit of schadenfreude from fox's hilarious antics. Yet one thing I didn't expect from the assumed intellectual audience of the daily show and colbert report is their reaction to the British election I was so excited about. A nice satirical take from an objective source. Not quite. In fact they struggle to define the difference between each political party (on screen) and simply chose to mock the fact that whatever the outcome of the election, most of the world will not giving a flying fuck. This is reflected in the handful of personal accounts I've had with the yanks, a vague fascination results in a few questions but an overall lack of interest is what prevails. So while my fellow bloggers will be fully enthralled in the post-election madness, I shall be living my commercialised american dream full of Obama-Socialism and a market driven class-less right wing. Sounds good to me, for now, however i still have 6 weeks left in this father of capitalism, so i'll get back to you.