Why I Hate... Dave

The phrase, "Everybody knows a Dave" clearly factored in the naming of the digital TV channel of the same moniker. This kind of dumb-sense anti-logic runs through Dave like writing in a stick of Blackpool rock, and epitomises precisely why I can't stand it.

For those unfamiliar, Dave is a repeats channel, showcasing the best "witty banter" the world of television has to offer. Well, the best "witty banter" the BBC has to offer, at any rate.

The channel is obviously aimed at the 16-30 year old, heterosexual male demographic, which is evident from the constant use of thick-arse macho rhetoric and an overemphasis on programmes featuring cars, James May and Jeremy Clarkson; the twat's holy trinity, in my eyes.

In between BBC repeats, Dave's continuity announcers all seem to speak in the same smug tone, cracking non-jokes whilst a VT of some unusually dressed men having a snowball fight in the grounds of a country house plays. What does this even signify? That's right: absolutely nothing. But idiots seem to like it, in the same way they all liked the Cadbury 'drumming gorilla' ad, which also signified absolutely nothing. For God's sake...

The most annoying aspect of Dave's broadcasting, however, comes in the form of its commercial breaks. I understand the necessity for these ad breaks - Dave, after all, is a commercial channel and requires them to create revenue. It is the completely inelegant and somewhat intrusive manner in which they occur which I hate. Just as Stephen Fry is on the cusp of saying something 'quite interesting', *bam*, he's intantaneously replaced by the Go Compare advert. Dave don't have the courtesy to ease the viewer into the breaks, preferring rather to brashly cut shows and then fling the viewer headlong into the ads with no forewarning.

Thankfully, however, on-demand TV (services such as Sky+ and the excellent BBC iPlayer) are taking a firm hold and are on the rise, meaning that repeats channels such as Dave will soon find themselves completely redundant. Let's just hope it happens before it can ruin something else, as it did with previously decent comedy Red Dwarf.

Greg.


*If you haven't guessed from the tone of the article, and possibly the title, I really, really hate Dave.